curajoy junk food going into a persons heart and brain 39bf56e9 bf10 4292 b6f3 4a5e25ca8d9b | curaJOY

Junk Food for Your Soul

IMG 3217 | curaJOY

My daughter painted this the summer she finished fourth grade. While she is a very gifted artist, she didn’t paint this on her own–she had way too much help with this piece at a department store art studio in Taiwan where art teachers help children replicate masterpieces.

Our social media post this week talked about affording kids the opportunity to fail and how making everything convenient and easy for our kids is fast (junk) food for their character development. Perhaps you’re thinking, “Why be such a killjoy? You should just let your daughter enjoy the satisfaction of having painted such a beautiful piece of work.” And I do. We hang this piece up in a non-prominent spot in our home. More front and center on our walls are her imperfect artwork–pieces she created entirely on her own, pieces that look like a kid painted them.

It doesn’t take more than a stroll through elementary school science fairs around the WORLD to know how many parents feel compelled to enhance their children’s work. Parents want to feel proud of their kids and want their children to feel proud of themselves. But all the well-intentioned help can set children up for unattainable and unrealistic expectations of themselves or worse assumptions (i.e., what they made on their own was not good enough and needed to be replaced), which leads to repeated disappointment and hinders self-esteem.

Back to the original story, my daughter stopped painting at home after that piece. I know her perfectionism and understand her logic. She doesn’t want to paint when she knows she can’t do it as well as she “did” in fourth grade. That department store art class unintentionally created a fear of failure, which stunted her growth as an artist.

Society praises what it can easily see superficially. As parents, you have the power to see inside your child’s soul, so it is even more important to praise our children’s intangibles–their effort, progress, and motivation. “Catch them being good” is a directive that therapists often give parents.

It is human nature to notice what’s wrong rather than right. So, make a conscious commitment to notice and acknowledge good behaviors as they occur throughout the day.

While you’re at it, I challenge you to go one step further and “catch yourself being good.” For example, you deserve a pat on the back for wanting to be a better parent and reading my blog 😉 Celebrate your own effort and progress rather than just the end results, and your children will learn from your example.

My daughter started drawing again. Below is her creation from scratch.

IMG 0953 | curaJOY
,
Caitlyn Wang Avatar

Responses to “Junk Food for Your Soul”

  1. binance Avatar

    Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.

  2. Melden Sie sich an, um 100 USDT zu erhalten Avatar

    Your point of view caught my eye and was very interesting. Thanks. I have a question for you.

  3. clarissamzshen Avatar
    clarissamzshen

    🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Touched by what you read? Join the conversation!

  • The Newest Buzzword (Part 1)
    The Newest Buzzword (Part 1)

    This story takes place several months ago back when school was still on going. So I was sitting with my friends’ friend group (I say this because although I was friends with some of the guys on the table, most of them were just friends of my friends), when the subject of a certain girl…

    Read more >> about The Newest Buzzword (Part 1)

  • The Missing Middle
    The Missing Middle

    This July, during the launch of curaJOY’s Impact Fellowship, I had a sobering realization. These were some of the brightest high school and college students we had ever worked with—motivated, passionate, and full of ideas. Yet, many had never written a research paper. Few had been asked to conduct original investigations or engage in meaningful…

    Read more >> about The Missing Middle

  • Interns and Suffering
    Interns and Suffering

    Do you know the Salk Institute? It was founded by Jonas Salk, the creator of the polio vaccine. The Salk Institute has a paid internship called the Heithoff-Brody Summer Scholars, where high school students work as assistants in labs assigned to them based on their interests. I applied, and even got to the final rounds…

    Read more >> about Interns and Suffering