If There Is Love

A good while ago, I saw Mrs. Doubtfire on Broadway. 

I’m going to be honest, I didn’t have a lot of expectations for this new comedy musical. For starters, my musical tastes are very much not Mrs. Doubtfire-core. It’s not new contemporary, it’s old-ish, like the 70s, the classics, Les Miserables and The Phantom of the Opera, the Magic Flute, etc. Not this.

So, it’s entirely out of my league by default. However, I was pleasantly surprised, and I went out of the theater full of praise.

Mrs. Doubtfire is a musical adapted from the 1993 Mrs. Doubtfire which was inspired by the novel Madame Doubtfire. The story follows Daniel Hillard, a loving but terrible father, who loses custody of his kids and the love of his wife (Miranda, who started her own clothing company) after he makes one too many mistakes. His marriage was already a new disaster, but the stripper girl who showed up at his son’s secret, unauthorized (he had gotten a C in math) birthday party was the last straw. Miranda issues divorce and because Daniel doesn’t have a job or a residence, gains complete custody over her kids. 

Determined to stay close to them, Daniel does the only rational thing a man can do in this situation– he sabotages future applicants for his kids’ nanny (Miranda couldn’t take care of them all the time due to her job,) dresses up as an old Scottish woman, and becomes his kids’ nanny, under the alias Mrs. Doubtfire, hence the musical’s name.

At first, it goes… as well as it possibly can. Daniel is still irresponsible. He doesn’t know how to take care of children, only to let them go crazy and have fun. However, he changes. Though he orders takeout for the few days as nanny, Daniel learns to cook. He learns to clean. He learns to help his kids out with schoolwork and he learns to understand his family. 

Miranda fell out of love with him because he never changed. He didn’t adapt to adulthood and stayed the young man she first fell in love with. He didn’t support her and ignored her attempts to rekindle their relationship. However, as Mrs. Doubtfire, he becomes Miranda’s best friend. He supports her and helps her in a product showcase and is just there for her. 

So, yeah, Daniel’s becoming a better person. He’s a killer nanny who dances and raps. ⅔ of his kids know he’s their father (they caught him taking off his face (his makeup)) now and they’re kind of vibing with it. His voice acting and acting in general secured him a shot at his own show. And so, around this time, after intermission, I started dreading the end of the musical.

Why? Because I could predict the ending: the kids would scheme to get their father back with their mother, stomp out love rival Stuart who is ridiculously handsome, and Daniel and Miranda would get back together in the end, and they love their kids so much, so they get married again. Boom, complete set! 

I expected this sort of ending, because, for most cultures, it’s the quintessential family ending. Everyone’s together and they love each other so much. The kids want Daniel back, and they also want their dad and mom to love each other again, though this is not that explicit in the musical. And what makes the kids happy makes the audience happy!

This sort of ending is fine and dandy if done correctly, but I doubted that Daniel and Miranda could get back into a healthy relationship. Daniel changed too late. He had to have his children taken away from him to make any change in his life, and by the time he did change, his wife was somewhere else. Miranda had her life in check always. She was starting her own company and she was growing fond of a man who was capable, handsome, and able to help her in every way. Why should Miranda be ridden of her character development and arc to go back to Daniel? Isn’t that unfair? He would get to grow, but she wouldn’t.  

And though they were in love before, they’re not compatible anymore. Maybe as an old lady and friend, but not as husband and wife. Also, it’d be hard to go from an old Scottish lady to a newly remarried husband.

Getting back together would most likely gloss over everything they’ve been through, and just call it a day, a happy ending. But it’s not the most optimal ending, which is the one Miranda is pursuing right now. Both Miranda and Daniel need time apart to grow and better themselves. Away from each other. It would put the importance of romantic love over familial love, which, in Daniel’s case, was the whole reason why he became Mrs. Doubtfire! To spend time with his kids!

Image ID: Mrs. Doubtfire (Rob McClure), Lydia (Giselle Gutierrez,) Christopher (Axel Bernard Rimmele), and Natalie Hillard (Charlotte Syndey Harrington) dancing with broomsticks.

Unfortunately, this is not too common in Western media, or in any media, actually, because of the “love prevails/love is being together” mentality so many people have. Because an “incomplete” family isn’t a happy one and love can’t exist without them all being together.

HOWEVER! I was pleasantly surprised with Mrs. Doubtfire’s ending because they did not get together: Daniel’s charade fell apart when he had two simultaneous dinners with his family (and Stuart, Miranda’s new boyfriend who he is not very fond of) and his future manager for his TV shoot. It goes terribly. He’s running from place to place, changing out outfits, taking off and putting his wig on, applying makeup, etc. And in a spectacular disaster, he is stripped virtually naked with nothing but his boxers in front of both his manager and his family. The dinner ends with him being fired, not from his actual future job, but just as Mrs. Doubtfire. 

He doesn’t see his kids again. Miranda refuses to see him, betrayed. She tries to find a suitable replacement for him, Mrs. Doubtfire, but the kids are miserable. Miranda realizes that her kids were happiest when they spent time with Daniel, so, just before they sign off on custody charges between her and Daniel, Miranda suggests that they split custody. The musical ends with Daniel taking care of the kids when Miranda can’t, starting his own TV show, and Miranda leading her business and starting a relationship with Stuart.

In one of the final scenes, Daniel’s kids watch him on live television. He, as Mrs. Doubtfire, receives a letter from a girl named Katie, whose parents have separated. She writes, wondering if she has lost her family forever. And Daniel responds–

“Oh, my dear Katie. You know, some parents, when they’re angry, they get along much better when they don’t live together. They don’t fight all the time, and they can become better people and much better mummies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don’t, dear. And if they don’t, don’t blame yourself. Just because they don’t love each other anymore, doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country – and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months… even years at a time. But if there’s love, dear… those are the ties that bind, and you’ll have a family in your heart, forever. All my love to you, poppet, you’re going to be all right… bye-bye.” 

How amazing is that? This is a great message people need to hear more often. I have friends with separated and soon-to-be separated parents. What is true amongst all of them is that they believe that their life will change irrevocably for the worse and that their family is torn apart forever. Sometimes, they think the divorce is their fault: they did something wrong. If they did this and that, their parents would still love each other. That, or they’re jumping with glee because one of their parents was abusive and this is their chance to run away. But back to the first thing– this, the family being torn apart, is true, in some cases, but not all of them. Your parents don’t have to be romantically involved to be your family. Does their love of each other equate to their love of you? Does it negatively affect their love for you? Do they associate you, their shared child, with their distasteful counterpart and thus try to distance themselves? It and they shouldn’t.

They don’t have to love each other to love you.